Wait, it's July?

Woah! So I made this blog in December during my 2 weeks off between jobs. As you can see from my last post, I was fed up with my hospital nursing job. I remember being worried when I wrote that blog post that I would look back and regret writing it and sharing it on the internet. I'm so glad I wrote down those thoughts and specifics (! so many details) -it's good to have them to remember and reflect. 

I can't believe how much time has passed since I've written last! And so much has happened! 

I started my new job in December right around the holidays. I won't go into excruciating detail, but it's been a good transition for me. I've finally achieved balance in my life for once and I feel like I can focus on more than just work. I'm also enjoying the speciality of psychiatric nursing and am almost positive this is the field I'd like to stay in....I'm even contemplating going back to school to become a psychiatric nurse practitioner! But that's another story. 

When I look back at these past 7 months I'd say the theme has been balance - something I am finally able to find! Since my job transition I've lost 13 pounds (I didn't even know I had 13 pounds to lose!), focused more on my exercise/fitness routine (Fitness Blender is the BEST) and really enjoyed my weekends off. 

Yeah, you heard that right. I lost 13 pounds! I had no idea what hospital nursing and bad habits had done to my body. I knew I felt stressed and could focus more on healthier eating, but I seriously thought I ate "healthy" 80% of the time so I should be OK, right? Wow, I was obviously wrong. 

So here's the thing. I tried for several months at the end of 2014 to get started with Fitness Blender's 8 week Fat Loss Program. I had been sporadically doing the videos 3-4 days a week and sometimes going on runs/walks in between. It was so hard with the 12 hour shifts to stay consistent with a work-out program. 3 days a week I would NOT work out (who wants to exercise after a 13 hour shift? Or beforehand?!) leaving the other 4 days of the week.... Anyway, it wasn't working out. Once I started at my new job with traditional office hours, I was able to fit in exercise much easier. 

I started in January 2014 with the Fitness Blender 8 Week Fat Loss Program. Jokingly, I took some 'before' pictures one day - I think this was after binge-viewing #progresspics on instagram (and lots of Kayla Itsines posts too!). I didn't think much of it - in fact I thought I looked pretty good! I had no idea I'd lose so much weight. I started tracking my calories in My Fitness Pal and was shocked about my portion sizes. I would pour a bowl of cereal that would be 400 calories! Dairy was also a HUGE part of my diet that I had never even realized. I quickly made some dietary changes....

- 1% Dairy to Unsweetened Almond Milk - (A huge calorie saver and I love the taste)

- No more shredded cheese on everything

- No more pretzels and tortilla chips 

- No more frozen yogurt/ice-cream

- Seriously increased intake of: fruits, vegetables

I also started measuring out my food (next step is to buy a food scale) for almost every meal and using MyFitness Pal to track the calories. I also have a FitBit which helps me keep up with my steps, and it links to MFP so I can track "extra" calories I get from exercise. 

So the first few months, from February-April the weight came off pretty easily. Here are my stats so far (and maybe if I'm brave enough at some point I'll post a picture!)

February 1 -158.6lb

March  30 - 151.6lb

April 30 - 149.2

June 30 - 147.4

And today I'm at 145 lb! :) 

I just finished the FB 4 week Ab program and I'm not sure what to do next. I'm considering doing the 4 week program again, OR redoing the second month of the 8-week fat loss program. I'm eating about 1900-2100 calories per day with an average daily expenditure of BMR (about 2,000 + exercise calories which is almost always 200 or 300/day). I've thought about decreasing my calories even more, but I find that I'm really hungry at anything less than 1,800 calories per day (I like my snacks!). 

All of this information just to say that I'm not sure what my next goals are. I never expected to lose 10+ pounds, my goal was just to increase my overall fitness level. I've thought about attempting to lose an additional 5 lb to get down to 140, but the idea of increasing my calories and lifting weights is way more exciting :D yay food! So I'm still on the fence of what to do next. I'll either purchase their FB booty program or the mass building program. Either way, I need to have a goal in mind to keep myself motivated! 

Maybe I'll post a picture on here at some point? Eh, probably not ;) here's a picture of my adorable cat and I snuggling instead!! 

longest post ever

I've had the last week completely off of work as I transition into a new (and exciting) job role- but first I'll start by telling you the beginning of the story….why I am transitioning to a new job after only 10 months in to my nursing career.

This February I started on a busy medical unit - not a med-surg unit - just medical (all the surgical cases were on a separate floor…) - I'm convinced that means that our floor had the heavier/more acute patients. Anyway, I knew what I was getting myself into since I had finished my practicum of 400-hours there for school the previous semester. I spent August-December of 2013 working 36 hours a week on top of attending classes an hour away at school. It was extremely stressful, plus I wasn't getting paid at all for my free-labor. I was learning a lot however, and my preceptor was great.

So I applied to that same unit, thinking that a year of acute care experience would benefit me no matter what I chose to do next. After 3 months of orientation I was on my own- and doing really well on the job. However, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted at the end of each shift. Working more than 2 12 hour shifts in a row was almost unbearable. I found myself binge eating crappy food at night in front of the TV, just trying to relax and turn my brain off so I could sleep.

Each shift I'd be faced with 5 patients, sometimes discharging my entire team and admitting 3 more patients. It was insanity! The day that sticks out to me the most is the day I discharged 3 of my 5 and admitted 3 (1 transfer from the surgical floor, 1 ER admit with respiratory distress, and 1 direct admission from a community oncologist who is notorious for delaying orders for pt's but wants them admitted ASAP). All 3 of these patients came within 30 minutes of each other! It was seriously unbelievable and extremely stressful. I complained to my director, who was mostly absent throughout my orientation and never provided any insight. She didn't do anything, only told me that I should relax and would have me sit in a chair while she "cleared my energy field" by waving her hands around my face. It was infuriating!

But I told myself I would stay for a year. I would wait until December/January to start job searching and by the time something came up I would have already completed my year off experience and could check that off of my nursing-career bucket-list.

Only fellow nurses will understand this- but there are some weeks that are great and everything flows smoothly and then there are weeks from hell where you despise your job and question your career choice every time you leave the floor (after 13 hours of hard work). I had just come back from a long vacation - taking advantage of the few perks of shift work - and was ready to get back into the swing of things on the unit. I was dreading my first day back, and actually cried the night beforehand - I was so relaxed on vacation I didn't realize how anxious and unhappy I was on a daily basis at my job. Being overworked and stressed 24/7 had given me a new baseline of constant anxiety that I didn't recognize until I was away from the job for an extended period of time.

I had that gut feeling that my first day back was going to be a nightmare. Maybe I set myself up for a negative day, maybe not- my attitude certainly didn't help things. But neither did the fact that I was given 6 patients that day - as a new grad (just 3 months off orientation) - and the only nurse with 6 patients on the floor. And these weren't patients that were there for routine CP, GI Bleed, etc. these were heavy duty acutely ill patients. Here was my list of patients:

1 total care patient with a PEG tube, tube feeds, crushed meds, oral care q2hrs, etc.
1 ETOH withdrawal and cirrhosis of the liver (who ended up vomiting a TON of blood and I had to call a code for later in the day)
1 chemo patient with q2hr pain medications at a very high risk for falls (I'm not trained to hang chemo at all….)

I don't remember the other 3 exactly- but they were all 80+ years old and very high risk for falls, incontinent patients with demanding family members.

I was so pissed. That was the day I decided I have got to get out of this place. I would literally work my ass off (walking 15,000 steps a day- taking maybe 2 bathroom breaks and one 20-minute lunch while my phone rang off the hook) and not get any recognition from anyone- not even patient's or family members. No one would say thank you. It was disgusting.

So I decided to start looking at other jobs. I would hunt on Indeed.com all the time for jobs outside of the hospital, anything I could do- I have a Bachelor's Degree and an MSN- this shouldn't be too hard I thought. So I applied and applied- and something came through! My director and fellow coworkers didn't realize that I had started this process well before I had my 'meltdown' one day.

I interviewed for an amazing position at an outpatient psych facility on a Friday - the director was great, I would be the only RN, and I would have an office (a big one with a closed door!) - and a substantial amount of respect too. Weekends, holidays off, and a generous benefits package (although the benefits at the hospital were pretty great too). At first based on the job description I didn't even know if I should go- but I'm so glad that I went. I haven't started my first day there yet but the atmosphere of the place and my new boss were amazing. I fell in love with the idea of this new job, and they wanted me for my education and my experience.

So I interviewed for that position on a Friday, and I knew that I was so over hospital nursing I could hardly stand it. I went in to work that Monday feeling confident about my job opportunity and just wishing things would move along so I could quit. I was so sick of cleaning up poop and spending 90% of my day doing CNA activities, ordering food, getting patient's straws or changing the TV channel.

That particular day I had 6 patients - again!- the only nurse on the floor with 6. But I shut my mouth and started my day. Except this time, I had a patient with a BP of 80/40 with endocarditis and a possible fever- but none of our thermometers were working. Plus, all of our CNA's had been so burn out- this particular CNA - I'll call him Frank - was complaining nonstop and wouldn't answer his phone. So while I'm in this patients room contemplating a Code since he is lethargic and non responsive -ALL 5 of my other patients call my phone to ask for various things or scream into the phone:

"I made poopy pants! Help me!" - from an oriented older gentleman, yes he said this verbatim
"I need a stool softener immediately!"
"If you don't come help me out of this bed to the chair I'm walking myself!"
"Can you help me order breakfast?"
"I need the nurse!" - "What can I help you with?" - "I Just need you!" ??? Ok then…

How can one person not mentally breakdown when all of these things are happening at once- and it's not even 8AM yet?????? I could not do it anymore.

Like I said- this place was just a nightmare. I had a freak out that day- a professional one. We need more staffing, we need more equipment, and obviously none of these patients were rounded on before night shift was done- and they are severely understaffed so I'm not pointing fingers at anyone other than the director and the folks who sit in offices and decide where the money needs to go.

Needless to say my director was around during this time, as well as an MD who respected me and appreciated my feedback. She told me not to leave - that the hospital was burning out good nurses and that  I should stay - I hadn't even mentioned leaving. So you can imagine that when I turned in my notice that Friday- everyone thought I was just angry/burnt out. When I actually had an amazing job offer it was shocking! My boss started crying- it was very unprofessional.

Anyway- I've enjoyed my week off. I still have nightmares about going back to the hospital and part of me wonders if this is a good idea. I guess I'll let you know next week! :)

Here I Am!

Hello internet, 

As someone who spends waaayyy too much time here, I decided I should become a permanent resident and make my own blog, so here it is! Ta-da! *does a tap dance*

I'm not quite sure what I'll post here each day (or week …that seems more likely). 

I'll start with the basics. My name is Kayla and I'm 24 years old. I have 2 cats, a husband, and a job. Did I mention I have 2 cats? ;)

Currently, I am between jobs- enjoying a 1 week vacation in between and spending that time getting out all of my creative energy. With Christmas coming up and all of this extra time on my hands, I decided to go the DIY route for gifts this year. Pinterest was my best friend, but sometimes those crafts look a lot easier than they end up being. 

I'm proud to say I had my first Pinterest craft success! 

I made DIY bird nest necklaces- inspired by Sarah Ortega. You can read her post here: 

bird nest necklace DIY

At first I decided to make just 5 necklaces for all the ladies in my family. I LOVED making them and they turned out surprisingly cute, so I decided to make 5 more :) 

I added a bird for this necklace

Here they are! 

I went to Hobby Lobby and purchased the following: 

20g & 22g wire (silver)

Needle-nose pliers

3 variations of glass beads 

10 chains

set of jump clasps (20 in a pack)

Thanks to a 50% off metal jewelry sale, this ended up costing me about $15 - the most expensive thing being the needle-nose pliers.

What DIY gifts are you making this year? I'd love more ideas! 

Thanks for reading & Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays :)